Additional Sample Ceremonies

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On this page you will find ceremonies that some couples have helped craft for their civil union ceremonies. These ceremonies were modified by couples who preferred not to directly use the term marriage in their ceremony (they preferred to wait until full marriage rights are granted before taking "marriage" vows).

However, YOU may choose the words YOU wish to use in your ceremony. "A rose by any other name is still a rose," and a "marriage" (the joining of mind, body and soul) is still a marriage by any other name (civil union). Your ceremony can include the words and thoughts you desire. (Of course, I must note that regardless of the wording, ceremonies performed under the authority of a civil union license result in a legal civil union.)

Here are four ceremony examples that include many optional passages and ideas. The fourth one is more spiritual than the first three, but all ceremonies can be modified to suit you. Also, keep in mind that there are other suggestions for ceremony ideas at www.themarriageman.com/ceremony.htm and http://www.themarriageman.com/moreceremonies.htm Those ceremonies are written as complete marriage ceremonies. Remember, you can substitute any segments (different ring exchange, for example, for anything here) You can modify, add, delete, do whatever you want to certain areas, passages, etc. The samples are provided only to give you an idea of SOME of the choices/options for a ceremony. The ceremonies below are somewhat different, but exactly as other couples chose to have their ceremony written/performed. Remember, you can mix and match segments from these ceremonies, use ideas from the info on the www.TheMarriageMan.com website, and from other sources. Perhaps you will get some ideas from reading them........

Sample Ceremony 1

Participants enter in manner of choice. Please ask for ideas if you would like suggestions.

Brief Welcome:

First Name and First Name, We are privileged to share today's happy occasion with you. We are here, not only to witness your commitment to each other, but also to wish you both every happiness in your future life together as __________________(your choice--some previous selections are: partners in a perfect union; partners in life; loving partners; caring spouses; your words ). Within its framework of commitment and loyalty, this wedding of souls enables the establishment of a home, where through trust, patience and respect, the love and affection that you have for each other may develop into a deep and lasting relationship.

We who are witnessing your wedding, hope that, despite the stresses inevitable in any life, your Love, Respect, trust, and understanding of each other will increase your contentment and heighten your joy in living.

Brief Reading

The joining of two souls deepens and enriches every facet of life.

Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, but passes away more quickly.

Complete commitment understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other by joining in mind, body and soul, they create a spirit unique unto themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.

That union is truly a promise made in the hearts of two people who love each other…..

and the potential of this union requires a lifetime to fulfill.

Ceremony

Before you, First Name and First Name, are wed in the presence of God and these witnesses, I am to remind you of the serious and binding nature of the relationship you are now about to enter.

FN and FN, if you now wish to make your vows, please answer, I do. I do

(Please face each other and hold hands)

First Name, do you take First name, whom you now hold by the hand to be your lawfully wedded partner for life? I do

Do you promise to love, cherish and honor him/her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only him/her for so long as you both shall live? I do

(Oath is repeated by other partner)

First Name, do you take First name, whom you now hold by the hand to be your lawfully wedded partner for life? I do

Ring Exchange: Marriage Officiant:

FN and FN, nothing is easier than saying words. And nothing is more difficult than living those words, day after day. What you promise today must be renewed and practiced again tomorrow, the tomorrow after that, and all the tomorrows after that.

Wedding rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. May they be a daily reminder of your vows to each other and your resolve to live together in unity, love, and happiness.

Officiant:
FN and FN, as a symbol of your love and respect for each other, do you now wish to exchange rings? (Respond “We do” or “I do” together

(May we have the ring for FN? Ring given to FN to give to FN)

FN, please give your ring to FN by placing the ring on FN’s hand with the words……..

"With this ring I thee wed" (Or, words of your choice)

(May we have the ring for FN? Ring given to FN to give to FN)

FN, please give your ring to FN by placing the ring on FN’s hand with the words…..

"With this ring I thee wed."

Optional Ceremony

(At this time, many couples choose to have a symbolic ceremony. Among the many ceremonies are the Sand ceremony, the rose ceremony, the hand ceremony, broom ceremony--there are many more. Don't hesitate to ask for advice/information/suggestions if you would like a symbolic ceremony. You will see some of the other ceremonies in the examples further down the page)

(Couple Holds each other’s hands )

For centuries, the wedding ceremony has been described as “Taking one’s hand.........” What is the meaning of that phrase? How did it originate? FN and FN, please look at the hands holding yours so that you may see the gift that they are to you……….

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours as you chase down your dreams and build your future.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will help you hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will hold you tight when you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Yes, These are the hands, that today, you take as you wed and unite as one.

Blessing : (This optional blessing can also be move to the very end of the ceremony, after the pronouncement)

At this time, we ask a blessing upon the joining of FN and FN. May they be blessed with the guidance, strength and direction to make their relationship grow and blossom in the years ahead. May their home be blessed with joy and happiness, and may they strive together to make their hopes and dreams come true.

Most of all, we ask that they be blessed by the love and support of family and friends as they begin life together as partners in life.

And, from this day forth, may their worries be few, may their joys be many, and may their love grow more abundantly with each passing day. Amen.

Pronouncement by officiant:

FN and FN, you have consented together to be bound to one another in a lawful and loving union. You have made special promises to each other which have been symbolized by the joining of hands, the taking of vows, and by the giving and receiving of rings.

By the authority vested in me, according to the laws of the State of NJ, I now pronounce you legally wed.

"Please seal your vows with a sign of affection!"

Sample Ceremony 2

Within its framework of commitment and loyalty, this wedding of souls enables the establishment of a home, where through trust, patience and respect, the love and affection that you have for each other may develop into a deep and lasting relationship.

Ceremony

Before you, FN and FN, are joined in marriage in the presence of God and these witnesses, I am to remind you of the serious and binding nature of the relationship you are now about to enter.

FN and FN, if you now wish to make your marriage vows, please answer, I do.

The joining of two souls deepens and enriches every facet of life.

Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, but passes away more quickly.

Complete commitment understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other by joining in mind, body and soul, they create a spirit unique unto themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.

That union is truly a promise made in the hearts of two people who love each other…..

and the potential of this union requires a lifetime to fulfill.

(Example of "repeating vows")

FN, please repeat your vows after me:

I, FN, take you FN,/

to be my lawfully wedded partner./

\I promise to love, cherish and honor you

/in sickness and in health/

for richer for poorer/

for better for worse/

and forsaking all others/

keep myself only unto you/

for so long as we both shall live.

FN, please repeat your vows after me:

I, FN, take you FN

to be my lawfully wedded partner./

I promise to love, cherish and honor you/

in sickness and in health/

for richer for poorer/

for better for worse/

and forsaking all others/

keep myself only unto you/

for so long as we both shall live.

FN and FN, nothing is easier than saying words. And nothing is more difficult than living them, day after day. What you promise today must be renewed and practiced again tomorrow, the tomorrow after that, and all the tomorrows after that.

Wedding rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. May they be a daily reminder of your vows to each other and your resolve to live together in unity, love, and happiness.

Officiant:
FN and FN, as a symbol of your love and respect for each other, do you now wish to exchange rings? (Respond “We do” or “I do” together)

May we have the ring for the FN?

FN, please place your ring on FN’s hand with the words: "With this ring I pledge my love and commitment."

May we have the ring for FN?

FN,please place your ring on FN’s hand with the words: "With this ring I pledge my love and commitment."

Candle Ceremony

   Unity candle: (There are other versions of this ceremony--see www.themarriageman.com or ask me for info if interested )

   At this time, FN and FN will light a Unity Candle.

   FN and FN, the two separate candles symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. Iask      that each of you take one of the lit candles and that together you light the center candle.

    The individual candles represent your lives before today. Lighting the center candle represents that your two lives are now joined to one light, and represents the joining together of your two families and sets of friends to one.

******For another unity candle idea, click here

Pronouncement by officiant:

FN and FN, you have consented together to be bound to one another in lawful union. You have made special promises to each other which have been symbolized by the joining of hands, the taking of vows, the giving and receiving of rings and by lighting the Unity Candle.

   By the authority vested in me, according to the laws of New Jersey, I now pronounce you partners for life. What God has joined together, let no one put asunder.

Kiss: "You may now seal your vows with a kiss.

   Sample Ceremony 3

WELCOME:
A wedding is a supreme sharing of experience, an adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. Today FN and FN proclaim their love and commitment to the world, and we gather here to rejoice, with and for them, in the new life they now undertake together. Each of you has given something special to their lives. Your love and encouragement will forever be appreciated. Thank you for sharing one of life's happiest moments with them. May you be as important a part of their tomorrow as you are of their today.

INTRODUCTION:
FN and FN, being wed to another is the most important of all earthly relationships. It should be entered into reverently, thoughtfully and with full understanding of its sacred nature.

The relationship you enter into today must stand by the strength of your love and the power of faith in each other. Just as two threads woven in opposite directions form a beautiful tapestry, so too, your lives when merged together will make a beautiful union. It is a mutual enrichment; a mingling of two personalities which diminishes neither, and enhances both. "This ceremony is a fusion of two hearts, the union of two lives, the coming together of two tributaries, which after being united in love, will flow in the same channel in the same direction. To make your relationship succeed it will take unending love. This is the core of your marriage and why you are here today. It will take trust, to know in your hearts that you truly want the best for each other. It will take dedication, to stay open and honest with one another - and to learn and grow together. It will take faith, to go forward together without knowing exactly what the future brings.

And it will take commitment, to hold true to the journey you both promised today to share together. An intimate and secure relationship is not based solely on promises, but also on trust, respect, faithfulness and the ability to forgive. A lasting union is based on all of these, bound together by love.

READING (by FNsmaid):

Destiny - by Sir Edwin Arnold (1832-1904)

Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours

For one lone soul another lonely soul,

Each choosing each through all the weary hours

And meeting strangely at one sudden goal.

Then blend they, like green leaves with golden flowers,

Into one beautiful and perfect whole;

And life's long night is ended, and the way

Lies open onward to eternal day.

Declaration of Intent:

FN and FN, may that be the love that you bring into this relationship and may its essence touch all those with whom you come in contact. As you come this day to affirm your love and commitment in the presence of God, Family, and Friends, may you always remember to value each
other as special and unique individuals, and that you respect each other's
thoughts, ideas and feelings. May you be able to forgive and to forget when
wronged - as from this day forward you will be each other's home, comfort
and sanctuary.

FN, do you take FN as your partner? As your companion and best friend for life, do you promise to love, adore, and encourage him/her? Share the good times and achievements as well as the hard times and disappointments? Keep her/him in sickness and in sorrow and be loyal to him/her forevermore? [I do]

FN, do you take FN as your partner? As your companion and best friend for life, do you promise to love, adore, and encourage her/him? Share the good times and achievements as well as the hard times and disappointments? Keep her/him in sickness and in sorrow and be loyal to her/him forevermore? [I do]

Sand Blending Ceremony:

FN and FN may your love always be as constant as the never-ending waves, flowing endlessly from the depths of the sea. Just as the waters touch and nourish the many shores of the earth, may your love be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. This beautiful union is symbolized through the combining of these two individual shells of sand. The sand in the first shell represents you FN, in all that you were, are, and ever will be, and the sand in the other shell represents you FN, in all that you were, are and ever will be. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when these two are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.

Please pour the sand into this container to symbolize the union of your two lives. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated, so will your wedding be bonded together forming one heart, one love. The life that each of you experienced now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS:

FN and FN, the vows that you are about to exchange serve as a verbal representation of the love you have promised to each other. For it is not the words that you speak today which will unite you together as one, but the inner sense of love and commitment that each of you feels within your soul. No other human ties are as tender, no other vows more sacred than those you now assume.

FN, please repeat after me.

FN, you are my companion in life/

and my one true love./

I will treasure our friendship/

and love you today, tomorrow, and forever./

I will trust and honor you,/

I will laugh and cry with you./

With unfailing love I will stand by you/

through the best and the worst,/

through the difficult and the easy./

As I have given you my hand to hold/

so I give you my life to keep.

FN, please repeat after me.

FN, you are my companion in life/

and my one true love./

I will treasure our friendship/

and love you today, tomorrow, and forever./

I will trust and honor you,/

I will laugh and cry with you./

With unfailing love I will stand by you/

through the best and the worst,/

through the difficult and the easy./

As I have given you my hand to hold/

so I give you my life to keep.

RING CEREMONY

The ring, a circle, is one of nature’s simplest forms. When a stone is cast upon a pond, it generates waves in ever expanding circles. Consider this marriage as being two stones striking the water simultaneously. The ensuing waves interlock, and the growth of the enlarging circles show the combined energies of the lives of FN and FN. The interlocking of these two lives will be symbolized in the exchange of rings.

RING EXCHANGE:   FN, please place this ring on FN’s ring finger and repeat after me:

FN, I give you this ring as I give you myself. /It is a circle without end./ Such is my love for you.

FN, please place this ring on FN's ring finger and repeat after me:

FN, I give you this ring as I give you myself. /It is a circle without end./ Such is my love for you.

May the sacredness of this moment and the vows and rings you have exchanged ever remain as a priceless memory in the heart of each of you and may you have perfect love and peace together.

CLOSING:

FN and FN, if there is anything you remember of this wedding ceremony, may it be the love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and by love which your union shall endure.

Today your separate lives with your individual memories, desires, and hopes merge into one. You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in the entire world whom you love above all others. You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strength, responsibilities and to share love. May you be a blessing and comfort to each other, sharers of each other’s dreams, consolers of each other’s sorrows, helpers to each other in all of life's challenges. May you encourage each other in whatever you set out to achieve. May you trust each other, trust life and be unafraid. May your union bring you all the exquisite excitements a loving union should bring, and may life grant you patience, tolerance, and understanding.

PRONOUNCEMENT:

FN and FN, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind that I pronounce you legally wed.   You may now kiss to seal your vows.

PRESENTATION:
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present ......................

Sample Ceremony 4

Prayer

            Let us Pray: Heavenly Father, thank you for this joyous day. Thank you for Your Light that has entered FN and FN’s life. Thank you for all the miracles and blessings. Please bless this union. Help FN and FN find the perfect place in this world for their love to flourish. Let the radiant light of their love shine on all those around them. May all their future endeavors be blessed. God, bless them with the inner gifts of trust, compassion, forgiveness and truth that they may live and grow together in love and peace. In Christ Our Lord, Amen

Welcoming

Good evening. It is truly a blessing from heaven for two people to find one another and to love so deeply that they embrace in a loving union. That is why we are here today, to witness and celebrate FN and FN’s commitment to their union. On behalf of FN and FN, I welcome you .

Foundation

            Love is a gift from God, a miracle. After speaking to you both, it is obvious that you already know some of the great blessings love, and the union of loving souls, has to offer. It is an opportunity to feel the joy of taking care of someone who takes care of you, to be challenged towards growth yet gently nurtured, to love deeply and receive it in return. It is about trust, friendship and having a partner to share all life has to offer. It is a commitment to participate in a process of mutual evolution, understanding and forgiveness. It is indeed a sacred union to be treated with reverence.

            A loving partnership is not a place to hide from the world. It is a safe place to grow and become wiser. It is a place to evolve into better people; so that you can go out in the world and make a difference by spreading the joy and wisdom that you have found with each other. Together in this union, you shall contribute more fully, for you both shall be more full.

            FN, FN is a gift to you from God, but he/she is not a gift for you alone. It is God’s will that in your love, this man/woman might find within herself/himself a greater sense of who she/he is meant to be. You are asked to see the good in this woman/man, to accept him/her for who she/he is and who she/he shall be. In this way, God’s purpose shall be accomplished in this relationship. May this woman/man find the kingdom of heaven through the love you share.

(Note: You may repeat the above passage for each partner, or use the passage below for one {or both} partners).

            And so it is with you also FN, that although FN is God’s gift to you, he/she is not a gift intended for you alone. You are asked by God to so love this man/woman, that in your love he/she might find himself/herself as God has created himher, so strong and brave and true, that the entire world might be blessed by the presence of a man/woman who shines so. May he/she relax in your arms as he/she has never relaxed before. May he/she know, from now on, that there is one on whose love he/she can depend on forever.

            May you both create, with God, a piece of heaven on earth.

.

The Hands Ceremony

For centuries, the wedding ceremony has been described as “Taking one’s hand.........” What is the meaning of that phrase? How did it originate? FN and FN, please look at the hands holding yours so that you may see the gift that they are to you……….

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours as you chase down your dreams and build your future.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will help you hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will hold you tight when you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Yes, These are the hands, that today, you take as you unite as one.

VOWS

Do you, FN take FN as your mate, to love him/her and to honor him/her, to nurture, serve and support him/her, in times of joy and in times of difficulty? Do you promise to remain by her/his side regardless of what trouble befalls you, and in the presence of temptation to forsake this love, do you promise to remain steadfast and true? Do you promise with all your heart and soul to honor this vow till death do you part? If so, answer now, "I do."(FN answers, "I do")

Do you, FN take FN as your mate, to love him/her and to honor him/her, to nurture, serve and support him/her, in times of joy and in times of difficulty? Do you promise to remain by her/his side regardless of what trouble befalls you, and in the presence of temptation to forsake this love, do you promise to remain steadfast and true? Do you promise with all your heart and soul to honor this vow till death do you part? If so, answer now, "I do."(FN answers, "I do")

Ring Ceremony

And so we come FN and FN, to the presentation of rings by which you symbolize and bind your love.   The circle has long been a symbol of spirit and the power of God. The sky and the earth are round. The wind in its greatest power whirls. The sun and moon, both round, come forth and go down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back again to where they were. Without beginning or end and with no point of weakness, the circle is a reminder of the eternal quality of God and of unending strength. Let the seamless circle of these rings become the symbol of your endless love and unending faithfulness. Your wedding rings are most special because they say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bonded, to allow the presence of another human being to enhance who you are. Your rings carry a potent double message: We are individuals and yet we belong; we are not alone. As you wear them through time, they will reflect not only who you are but also the union you are making, the fact that throughout the rest of your lives each of you will be imprinted by the other, yet as yourself remain.

God, bless these rings and the two who exchange them. Fill them with your Holy Presence. Keep them safe in the circle of Your protection and love.

FN, place the ring on FN's finger and repeat after me: “With this ring, I pledge my love and faithfulness to you, today, tomorrow and always

FN, place the ring on FN’s finger and repeat after me: “With this ring, I pledge my love and faithfulness to you, today, tomorrow and always."

Wear these rings as the enclosing bond of reverence and trust. Fulfill the circle of love that now makes you one.

Vows read phrase by phrase by minister and repeated by wedding partners;

FN, please repeat after me.

FN, you are my companion in life/

and my one true love./

I will treasure our friendship/

and love you today, tomorrow, and forever./

I will trust and honor you,/

I will laugh and cry with you./

With unfailing love I will stand by you/

through the best and the worst,/

through the difficult and the easy./

As I have given you my hand to hold/

so I give you my life to keep.

FN, please repeat after me.

FN, you are my companion in life/

and my one true love./

I will treasure our friendship/

and love you today, tomorrow, and forever./

I will trust and honor you,/

I will laugh and cry with you./

With unfailing love I will stand by you/

through the best and the worst,/

through the difficult and the easy./

As I have given you my hand to hold/

so I give you my life to keep.

Blessing

FN and FN, you now have the opportunity for expressing through your union and partnership, God’s glory, love and healing. How could this be? Through devotion and service to eachother. Through patience, kindness, total acceptance of each other, tempered by the willingness to change. You will be tempted, as time goes by, to take for granted the love which today seems so precious and dear. To speak to and treat each other in ways that do not reflect the highest good in both of you. Resist it. Promise to always see the goodness in your partner, even when it’s especially difficult. God will provide you the way, if you are willing. He is the key to your success as a couple united in love. Call on Him devotedly and consistently to guide your thinking and bless your home. May this union be to you a heavenly sanctuary. God bless you.

Pronouncement

            FN and FN, in the presence of God, your family and friends today, you have spoken the words and performed the rites which unite your lives. It is my legal right as a minister and my greatest joy and privilege to now declare you legally wed as partners in love. "You may now celebrate with a kiss .".

Benediction

May God’s blessings rest upon you, may God’s peace abide with you, and may God’s presence illuminate your hearts, now and forevermore. In Christ Our Lord, Amen.

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One of several Unity candle variations:

For centuries a burning flame has served as a beacon, a light that draws attention and illuminates. By bringing together the two individual flames, representing your separate individual lives before today, you create a a new and larger beacon of light. This new flame draws attention to and proclaims for all to see the joining together of your hearts, your minds, your soul and your lives into a permanent and lasting union. This new union boldly shines for all the world to be illuminated by its glow.

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